One of the reasons I like the new apartment is that we rarely see any bugs. I hate bugs… especially spiders.

The other day I came across the rare gnat. Normally, I’d swat him and be on my way, but this time was different. Being that I’m no longer used to killing the ordinary gnat, I felt some compassion for this one. No reason to kill him, so I let him be.

Well, bedtime was approaching, so I figured I’d take a quick shower. I turned off all the lights, except in the bathroom, and naturally came across the apparantly scared-of-the-dark gnat. He was in the bathtub. I knew he wouldn’t enjoy the water, but I was going to take a shower regardless of whether or not he’d be happy. It’s my apartment anyways. So, I turned on the water, and watched the gnat simultaneously cling to two walls in the corner. I had a temporary spell of compassion, and figured I’d open the shower curtain to let him out. I pulled the curtain all the way to the wall, blocking off the water. He was too frightened to flap his small wings, and didn’t budge. I suppose the bug’s natural instinct is to hide in a bush, plant, or tree until the downpour has ceased. Not much I can do to fight that. I continued my shower, and the bug stayed still… until I made a fatal mistake. I lifted my arm. “Ahh! Shrubbery!,” the gnat squeeked (in his best monty python impression), and he raced full-throttle towards my armpit. Well, I have natural instincts too. When a gnat, or any such bug, heads for my armpit, I instinctively snap my arm closed. OK, you’re thinking “Gross, you squished the gnat!,” but my arm-closing reflexes are beyond that of a normal being, and I managed to close it before the gnat came too close. He was OK, I was OK. Well… I was OK. My arm had been blocking the water, and as soon as I closed it, the tsunami engolfed the poor gnat, and took him to his doom.

I really feel responsible for this gnat’s death, although I’m not sure it could have been prevented. I guess, if I wasn’t so self-centered, I would have let the gnat rest under my arm. Was it my natural instinct, or his, that led to the fall of the gnat?

3 Responses to “The Fall of the Gnat”

  1. #1 adam wenner says:

    ha… join the world of people with wordpress blogs

  2. #2 -rena says:

    -I heard this story from a gnat here in GSO. You are a hero among gnats everywhere-you offered yourself to save the gnat, but he knew his time had come!

  3. #3 Bill says:

    Since you mention in your story that the gnat “squeeked,” this evidently was a speaking gnat, which is a rare variety. If it could speak, then it’s likely it could also sing. And if it could sing, it’s possible–according to the laws of karma–that you drowned the late Nat King Cole–who was existing in his next life’s incarnation. I wouldn’t publish this story, since there’s the possibility of a lawsuit from his daughter, Natalie Cole.

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